Damaged
by somethinginbetween
Summary: The team tries to bring Deeks back after being tortured. Post finale, spoilers for those who haven't seen it. Heavy Densi because well I love me ship. Will be short, 2 or 3 chapters.
1. Chapter 1

She hadn't seen or talked to him for 45 days 10 hours and 7 minutes and 42 seconds but who is counting. Kensi walked into ops as she did everyday and answered the same question they asked everyday. "Has she heard from Deeks?" Unfortunately she had the same answer for them but for some reason the words couldn't even form on her mouth so she just shook her head no. It was a weird ritual they had adopted. Maybe in some odd way they were looking to remind each other, punish each other not let anyone forget what happened.

By this point the laughter of the bull pen had long been replaced with uncomfortable silence. No one really knew where to go from here but something had to give because no one would survive this much longer. Hetty had finally had enough. She wanted for them to find their way back to each other, to make each other stronger, to let the promise of the future heal the past. She was going to give them the push they needed because if they were going to survive this they were going to need each other.

"Listen up. I have had enough of this. You are all still here. Yes, you might be more broken than we were but we are still standing. Mr. Hanna, I will not pretend to know what happened with you in Mr. Deeks while you were with Sidorov but the truth of the matter is that he stood by you. He stood by your family and by this team so enough with the guilt and make this right. You are a family so start acting like one" With that the little woman left leaving the team with looking at one another, knowing that they were missing part of their family and nothing would be right until they got him back.

"Nothing like a Hetty pep talk to start things off but guys this is my fault. You all became casualties of a war on me. The torture the pain, the loss, it was meant for me and I...I am sorry." No one had ever heard G talk like this. For the first time the team had noticed a weakness in his voice, a break where one could swear he was holding back emotion, and tears welling in his eyes, they realized that G did have a weakness and it was them, his family.

"I should have trusted him. He had my back. He has always had our back and now we need to have his" Everyone knew who they were talking about. No one dared speak his name just yet.

"Guys, I have tried to talk to him. I have called, texted, randomly showed up at his place. He asked for space and I as much as it hurts me to give it to him. I have given it to him. He is my partner and I need him back."

G finally spoke "Sometimes you speak softly and carry a big stick and sometimes you use that stick to knock some sense into the people you care about"

Sam and Kensi looked at each other and started to laugh.

"G, you have been watching too much history channel"

"I think that was poetic but not entirely sure"

Their laughter seemed to heal something in the room. It wasn't completely better and maybe it never would but it felt a hell of a lot better.

They decided on their own sort of intervention with Deeks. Kensi, Callen then Sam. Each taking their turn to make peace with their beloved surfer.

************************************************** Deeks Apartment***************************************** ******

Kensi knocked on the door knowing he was home.

"Deeks, I know you are in there. Deeks, you know I can pick this lock in about 30 seconds so open the door!." As she lightly rested her head against his door praying he would answer, she quietly let out a "please".

When he came to the door he was in nothing but boxers, looking like he hadn't slept in days, skinny, sad and angry. She wasn't sure how to react so she walked in right past him and just started talking.

"Look, Deeks. I don't really know what I am doing. You know me better than anyone and you know that I am not good at these things."

"Kens, this really isn't a good time"

Kensi looked at his stormy blue eyes dead on as if trying to will her way into them, pleading with him to let her help him through this.

"You are my partner, you are my best friend and I need you back" She barely got out her last sentence. She almost broke.

"Deeks, I l..." but before she could confess to him her truth. She heard laughing.

"Deeks, baby I will...Ohh I am sorry. I didn't know anyone was here" A red head with yesterday's mascara and a skin tight party dress emerged from his bedroom.

"Hi, I am Tiffani totally nice to meet you. Deeks, have you seen my other shoe? I know I left here somewhere but sheesh you were an animal last night" She giggled to herself and then started crawling on her hands and knees looking for her other shoe.

Deeks looked at Kensi's eyes and he saw the light leave her eyes. She was right earlier he did know her better than anyone and he knew that this hurt he just caused she might not ever be able to forgive. Just as Kensi Blye was ready to take the leap of faith on her feelings, he had done the unimaginable and betrayed her. Part of him couldn't stand himself. He wanted to kiss her, tell her that he loved her more anything that he was being so stupid and selfish, that he was lost without her. The other part of him wanted her to hurt just as much as him. He wasn't sure why but his misery wanted company.

"I am sorry. I should have called first. I'll go" All Kensi could think was to get out of there as fast as she could. She felt like she was going to drown if she stood there any longer.

"Well that makes two of us, I have to totally get back to work or they are like going to kill me" Tiffani said as she held up the shoe she found like a trophy.

Somewhere Kensi found the courage to turn around and tell Deeks.

"I hope you get better soon, partner" and even though she was overwhelmed with emotion she did want her partner to get better...more than anything.

"Kensi..." Deeks had no words, nothing came out. She deserved better than him. She deserved something not so damaged.

"I'll see you later, ok" She didn't eve look back at him because she was afraid that she either might go back and punch him or kiss him. She wasn't sure which.

As Kensi walked to her car, Tiffani caught up to her.

"Hey, its Kensi right"

"Umm..yes"

"Well this is probably totally not my place but Chris has been coming to club a lot and usually keeps to himself but last night he was really charming and like really sexy"

Wondering what the hell this girl was thinking and did she know that she was carrying a gun? Kensi told her

"You know what umm Chris does with his time is his business really"

"Okayyyyy, this is really awkward but things started out really hot and heavy but then he started saying these weird things. 'Kensi, I am so sorry'. 'Kensi, I love you so much, remembering how you smell was the only thing that gave me hope'. Anyways nothing really happened. He kinda passed out after that. I doubt he remembers. I work at a strip club and trust me I see a lot of odd dudes. Chris isn't odd. I think he is just in love with you"

"Thanks, Tiffani. I appreciate it...really"

"No problemo. Thats no problem in Spanish"

Kensi couldn't help but smile at the brilliantly idiotic stripper that some how helped her in her time of need. Go freakin' figure!


	2. Chapter 2

Kensi sat in her car thinking how much she needed a doughnut. She needed something to fill this pit in her stomach, the underlying fear that maybe she wouldn't get her partner back.

_Strike one, you are up _ she sent a text to Callen.

*****************************************Deek's Apartment***************************************** **************************

_Knock, Knock_

"Deeks, open up man. I bring gifts."

Deeks slowly made his way to the door because Callen wasn't the visiting type. He also wasn't the gift giving type.

"Pizza, and beer. You look like you could use both"

"Callen, Kensi was already here. I ..."

Callen cut him off before he could say anything

"Deeks, I know this is not easy and if I could have taken every minute of pain for you I would have. This, all of this, is my fault but this happened to everyone."

Deeks could feel the anger raging inside him

"You weren't there. You have no idea"

Callen put down the box of pizza and the six pack sighing.

"Look Deeks I wasn't there and I will live with that guilt everyday. But if you could have seen Nell not sleep for 48 hrs trying everything she could think of, Eric probably committed 50 felonies scowering the globe for you, if you could have seen Kensi, for god sakes Deeks she..." At this point Callen's pep talk was more like yelling trying to get through to Deeks. He took a moment to walk over to him and say

"We are your family and granted we are dysfunctional and apparently semi-incestuous, but we didn't give up so you can't either."

"Thanks for the pizza and beer but if you are done. I'd like to be left alone"

"Look man, you want to go at this alone, fine be my guest. But take it from someone who has been there, its a lot easier not to. It took me a long time to figure that out. I just hope you aren't as hard headed as me. Now I am done."

As Callen walked out Deeks was filled with emotion. Emotion that he had been trying so hard to suppress. Emotion that had been eating him alive. He took the beer that he had been sipping and threw it against the wall. He wanted so much not to feel this anger against the people he loved. He wanted to blame Sidorov. He wanted to blame himself, his job, his procrastination of any and all trainings but he blamed them and he didn't know to turn that off.

Callen's text to Sam read

_Third time is a charm right?_

When Sam appeared at Deeks front door, Deeks contemplated running out the back but knowing Sam, Deeks decided against it.

"What no dessert? At least Callen brought food"

"No Deeks, I brought something better"

"Oh yeah what's that"

"some god damned sense"

"Look I know how you feel. You are angry and you want to blame some body. So be angry at me, blame me."

"I don't know what you are talking about"

"I took the torture because that was the woman I love on the line and I would have done it 100 times over but you... you did it because you are a good cop, you are a good friend and as much crap as I gave you before you are a great partner. I am sorry for doubting you Deeks. You are a great man and I was wrong about you, dead wrong"

"I want you to do something for me. I think it might make you feel better...I want you to hit me."

"I am not going to hit you, man"

"Come on Deeks, HIT ME. Come on Deeks, I know you want to just do it. One good swing."

"BACK OFF Sam, I am not hitting you"

"Deeks be the man that I know you are. You are better than this."

"Sam you don't know anything thing about me, never have"

"I know this. You saved my life. You saved my wife's life. You saved this family. So that is all I need to know"

With that Deeks took his right arm and hit Sam right across the face. He would have been proud of the shot if his hand hadn't been in so much pain. Sam stumbled but regained his balance quickly.

"Looks like you still have a little fight left in you Shaggy, feel better?"

"Yes...and no, owwwww" Deeks grabbed his other hand in pain.

"How about this? Paper rock scissors if you come back to work tomorrow. Just tomorrow, see how it feels"

"Really, this again"

"Yes, this again"

With that the two men, counted one, two, three. Deeks put a rock mostly because with his left hand it was the easiest. Sam put out paper.

"Looks like you won. Paper beats rock"

"No, Deeks you won. East coast rules remember"

Sam tried to convey how much he owed his hippie surfer but all that came out was "thank you". Two words were not nearly enough to what he owed him but its all he had.

When Sam left Deeks for the first time in a long time felt like he was in control, like he had a choice and he knew what he wanted and damn it felt good.

Deeks woke up and went surfing at early rise. It was the first time he had gone surfing in months. It was something that he loved and he realized something last night that if he stopped doing the things he loved and being around the people he loved he would always be in that room. Even worse he would be the one torturing himself. Marty Deeks had overcome a lot in his lifetime so what's another hill to climb and couple more scars. He thanked God that he had the people in his life to remind him of that. And when he walked into OPS that morning he knew it wouldn't be the same, nothing done could be undone, it could not be forgotten but he had been given the chance to heal and that was enough.


End file.
